


99 to 14

by minwonangst



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21990343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minwonangst/pseuds/minwonangst
Summary: Fifteen years ago, he was twenty. Never fallen in love. Never had a concrete idea what he wanted. Never sure about his true identity. But a boy came and suddenly everything's changed. Wonwoo would never admit that to anyone until he has to write a book about himself.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 22
Kudos: 127
Collections: YMMH FIC FEST





	99 to 14

**Author's Note:**

> i just really wanna thank the mods for being patient with me throughout this whole process. 
> 
> to the prompter, i hope i did justice to what you had in mind
> 
> Prompt #Y159

**November 2014**

“There shouldn’t be any delay on the release. We are coming out next month right on schedule.” Jisoo explains. They are in a meeting for an hour now, discussing the details of his debut book. There’s nothing big to discuss, really, as he is a newbie and this book is just something he wants to tick off his bucket list before he, perhaps, die. He isn’t even sure if there’s gonna be a next one after this.

“Are you listening, Wonwoo?” His agent calls his attention. Wonwoo likes Jisoo but the latter isn’t that nice when it comes to working. He had learned it the hard way during the submission of his first draft.

They’ve been friends for a while. They met in college, in a club gathering for all department paper presidents in the university. Jisoo was from the Creative Writing department and was head of the committee while Wonwoo was from the Department of Medicine. Ten years later, they still kept in touch. It was also Jisoo who had convinced Wonwoo to try writing a book. 

Wonwoo nods, pretending that he is listing down the things Jisoo has discussed with him. It has been a habit he had developed to not get on the bad side of his friend, especially at crunch times like this. There was a time during the submission of his first draft when Jisoo unleashed the hidden bitch in him. Wonwoo was still not whole-heartedly into writing his first book at that time and he knew he wouldn’t be able to turn in a decent work exactly on the given schedule. Jisoo had stormed into his apartment after three days of not receiving any calls or e-mails from him. There was a lot of screaming and cursing. Knowing him as a calm and soft-spoken person, Wonwoo couldn’t believe Jisoo was capable of saying such profanities at him without holding back. He had learned his lesson and vowed that he would abide by Jisoo’s long from then on.

“I am listening,” Wonwoo affirms. Even though his mind is somewhere, he understood what Jisoo had explained to him. It’s more about commission and circulation matters. Financial stuff mostly. Wonwoo doesn’t really care about the numbers at this point. He is just relieved that, after two excruciating years, this is all over. 

Jisoo closes his leather planner and smiles at him. “So, I will see you in two weeks for the launch?” 

“Sure,” Wonwoo says.

“Are you excited? Your fairytale is now going public.”

Wonwoo grimaces. “It’s not _my_ fairytale.”

It’s not even a love story, to begin with. It is a mere narration of how a boy figured himself out during his 20s. Wonwoo had fought with himself if this was the kind of topic he would want to write for his first book. First, because, even though we are in modern times now, it’s a kind of theme that is still looked down upon by society. Second, his parents are still sensitive about him coming out to them a few years back. And third, he wasn’t ready to tell the story about himself that no one knew about. It’s a story that he kept to himself. 

“It’s still a fairytale to me,” Jisoo says, a smirk on his face.

“You are the only one who thinks that.” Wonwoo counters. 

“It’s about you and a boy meeting 15 years ago. It’s a fairytale!”

“Fairy Tales have happy endings.”

Jisoo sighs but he is still smiling. He usually becomes like this whenever they talk about this topic, how Wonwoo let go of something he shouldn’t have that summer back in 1999 during his trip to Changwon. Jisoo always teases him that he wouldn’t be single at 35 and jumped from one relationship to another if he wasn’t such a coward back then.

“The book isn’t a love story.” Wonwoo reiterates. It is. Both of them know it is. It is finding love at a young age, a kind of love a boy in his twenties never expects to find in another person.

Jisoo stands up after putting his things inside his messenger bag. He still has a lot of things to do, other writers to meet, deadlines to beat at the end of the day. Despite his busy schedule, he still looks fresh and put-together every time Wonwoo sees him. 

“But we both know you wish it was,” Jisoo says before he walks out the door.

Wonwoo is left speechless. Fifteen years ago, he was twenty, never fallen in love, never had a concrete idea what he wanted. Never sure about his true identity. But a boy came and he suddenly changed all that. Wonwoo would never admit that to anyone until he has to write a book about himself.

**August 1999**

Wonwoo hates family reunions.

Wonwoo doesn't even really like his family that much.

First, he doesn't understand why they keep holding these parties and call it a reunion when they see each other more than twice every year. He thinks they are missing the point of the whole term and should just call it a Bragging Dinner.

Second, it's all the way down south. He loves Changwon. It will always be home to him but it's not convenient to go back when you are a college student who us struggling academically. He was given extra work to pull up his grades, three papers to write and should be submitted before the end of summer. It's quite a bit of hassle especially because he still has to revise some parts of his essays and this trip is gonna eat up a few days of his brief summer vacation.

Lastly, he's extremely exhausted with everything that is happening to his life lately, and acting as if he wants to be around his established and esteemed relatives will further tire him out. It's a battle out there and Wonwoo has no energy left in his body to compete with them. Studying something as boring as medicine is already torture for him.

But, of course, Wonwoo has no other choice but to pack his bags and leave his papers about medical shit for a few days to attend the said party, or else his parents would disown him and withdraw all their monetary support for his studies. As much as he hates what he's currently studying, he still needs his parents to pay some of the bills. It's just a week, anyway. He could survive. He still has a few more days or so to write his papers. 

His roommate, Soonyoung, has already gone home the moment the classes closed. He does this every year, always eager to come home to his mom's delicious cooking, his dad's endless stories about the exciting things that had happened in their town while he's away, his grandfather's farm that he still tends to whenever he's home even if he doesn't have to anymore because he is now a university student, the first in his family to be a doctor, a pediatrician in a few years. Wonwoo is smarter in all aspects but Soonyoung works harder than him thus, he stays an academic scholar.

Wonwoo sometimes envies him. Sometimes he wishes he has the diligence, has the will Soonyoung has to pursue his dreams, at least to finish his studies even if Medicine, or anything related to sciences, is not something he has dreamed of studying when he was a kid. Sometimes, Wonwoo wants to love medicine so his parents would be proud of him and not frown on his mediocre grades every semester. Sometimes, Wonwoo is jealous of Soonyoung because he has a simple family who supports him and is happy for him no matter what he does or become after college. They didn't force him to enter med school. They didn't pressure him to be someone he's not just to fit in the standards of their family. Sometimes, Wonwoo wants Soonyoung's life.

This time, unlike before, Wonwoo takes the bus to his hometown. He usually takes the bullet train for faster travel but since he wants to delay his arrival as much as he can, he opts to hop on a bus with the most stops. It will take him about 4 hours to reach the city terminal, and from there, he would take a cab that will take him to his family residence.

This year, the party is going to be held at his uncle's villa in the mountains. They have a vast property with a beautiful view of the city, a vacation mansion that they acquired a few years back. Wonwoo has visited only twice and he isn't looking forward to going there again. 

He's staying for a week, a minimum requirement of his mother every semester break. He often only stays in his room while he's home except on the days he visits his older brother's house located at the town next to his parents'. He's married to the daughter of the mayor and has three beautiful kids. Seeing his adorable niece and nephews is the only thing he likes about coming home.

The bus leaves at exactly eight in the evening. Wonwoo prefers to travel at night so that his parents are already asleep when he arrives. No more fuss. No more series of questions about school and life as a med student. If Wonwoo would be truthful, they wouldn't like his answer. He'd rather postpone the conversation until the morning when he's already rested and ready to be the son of the year.

Only 20 minutes on the road, Wonwoo is already missing his apartment. He has only lived there for two years. It's small and most of the time messy because he and Soonyoung aren't exactly fond of tidying up but he likes it. It is better than staying at home and fight with his mom every single day. Picking a university in Seoul is the best decision he has made so far. 

The highway comes into view in a few. Wonwoo thanks his luck for getting a window seat and seatmate that is not a chatter. He looks out and wonders what Soonyoung is doing now. He must be already done eating a delicious dinner. Wonwoo remembers Soonyoung telling him that he would bring him kimchi made by his mother and meat from his grandfather's farm when he gets back. He smiles at the thought, leaning his head on the glass window. It should be nice. It's the only thing he is looking forward to now. After a few more moments of thinking, Wonwoo finally allows himself to fall asleep.

He wakes up to a nearly empty bus. They are at a stopover. People have gone down to use the toilet or to buy some snacks that they could eat for the rest of the trip. Wonwoo decided to get down too to empty his bladder before he realized that he wants some salty chips.

He enters the only convenience store at the stop. The smell of coffee is very tempting but he wants to continue his sleep once he boards the bus again. He skips the coffee counter and aims for the fridge where the other refreshments are. He takes a bottle of yogurt and mineral water and grabs a bag of cheese chips after.

He glances outside through the glass window of the store while he lines up for the cashier to check on his bus. It's still there. He still has a few minutes to spare. They won't leave him even if they are strict about time and won't wait for anyone who is late.

"Excuse me?" 

Wonwoo looks up from counting his bills. 

"Can you help me find my wallet? I put it somewhere and now I can't find it." An old woman pleads, holding his arm with her wrinkled hands. She's about in her 70s, back slightly hunched and is holding a wooden cane on his other hand.

"Where did you last remember putting it, grandma?" Wonwoo asks. 

"I can't remember. I came here to buy some grilled potatoes but then I realized my purse is not in my bag." The old lady points at his brown tote. She seems to be living nearby, only traveling to buy some goods at the town market or whatever. Wonwoo isn't sure.

As a courtesy, Wonwoo paid for his items and asks the store stuff to pack the old lady some hot potatoes. He tells her to wait for him as he looks for her purse inside the store. Wonwoo checks all the racks because maybe grandma has placed it there. Even the fridge just to be sure. Who knows? It's a possibility for elder people.

There's none. No purse lying anywhere.

"It's not here." Wonwoo comes back to the bench where the woman is waiting for him. "Where is the last place you went to before coming here?"

"I went to the toilet." Grandma answers.

"Okay." Wonwoo nods. He really wants to help but he's going to be left behind by his bus if he won't leave now. The store attendant could perhaps find it for her. "But, I have a bus that's-- Oh, shit." Wonwoo yelps as he watches his bus drive away and fades into the darkness of the highway. He didn't have time to react, to run after it as what most people would do. He just stands there as he slowly accepts his misfortune.

As soon as Wonwoo recovers, the old woman exclaims, "Oh! Here it is!" She waves his leather purse proudly at Wonwoo, revealing her incomplete set of teeth. It's in her bag all along.

Wonwoo could only sigh. He wanted to take his time, to delay his arrival, but not to this extent.

It's literally going to be a long night. 

*

Wonwoo watches as the old lady waves him goodbye while inside the beat-up truck of her husband. She left him a pack of bread and two pieces of boiled sweet corn that she says he could eat on the way to his destination. Wonwoo accepts it. It’s food and he is in the middle of nowhere. A little emergency resource is very much welcome.

According to one of the gasoline boys, the next bus going to Changwon will arrive in five hours as the last bus from Seoul was the one he boarded. If he really wanted to go to the main town, he could try hitching with private cars. It’s already almost midnight and there are not a lot of cars traversing the highway at this hour. His best bet is to rent a motel along the way. The nearest one is about five kilometers from where he is and the best option to go there is to start walking now.

Wonwoo has decided to do just that. He fastens the strap of his backpack on his shoulders and proceeds walking. He regrets not taking the cellular phone his parents are giving him. Not a lot of people are privileged to own a mobile device. It’s considered a luxury. He thinks it’s too tacky to carry around a chunk of metal around and flash how rich his family is. But now, in a situation like this, he wishes he wasn’t that stubborn and too self-righteous.

It’s too dark. Wonwoo is not afraid of a little dim in his surroundings. This highway, though, creeps him out. A vast field on both sides and the street lights are like a mile apart from each other. He could be taken by anyone and get murdered easily without anyone witnessing it. No one could hear his screams. His body would just be discarded in the middle of this grassland and would only be found a week after.

He shakes the thought of his possible demise off his head. He could survive this. Five kilometers is nothing. Perhaps, if he’s luckier, a car would pass by and offer him a ride to the livelier part of this province.

“Hey.” 

Wonwoo thought he is just imagining things. It’s only been a few minutes since he was walking when a car stops for him. It’s either it’s his murderer or it’s his savior.

“Where are you going?” The driver rolls down his window to reveal himself.

“To town.” Wonwoo answers. He looks young to be driving a white 1992 Hyundai Pony. The car reminds him of his parents’ car when he was younger. This one is just dirtier and older and he feels like it won’t survive another mile on the road.

“Do you want a ride?” The young man offers. “The gasoline folks told me someone got left by their bus and I should offer them a ride. I suppose it’s you.”

He looks harmless, Wonwoo thinks. The condition of his car is questionable but Wonwoo is not in a position to be choosy right now. Going with him is the best option right now. It’s the _only_ option he has. “Is it okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” The other says. “I can drive you to where you’re going. I have all the time.”

That seems like something a pervert would say. Wonwoo is hesitant to get in.

“I really have no destination. I just wanted to go for a drive. I won’t kill you, don’t worry.” The driver must have sensed his hesitance.

Too exhausted to even think properly, Wonwoo opens the door of the passenger and hops in the old car. Despite the dim lighting inside, he sees a friendly smile welcome him. The driver seems younger in this angle, his lips stretch from one ear to another. His dominant nose is hard to ignore especially when he starts driving and his side profile is on display. He has a perfectly defined jawline that it takes two seconds for Wonwoo to stop staring.

“Seatbelt?” The guy asks but more like instructs.

Wonwoo buckles up. They are driving slowly initially until they speed up when Wonwoo is already safe and settled. 

“Is it okay to ask where you’re going?” The guy starts.

“Changwon.” Wonwoo answers. 

“That’s still 3 hours from here.” 

Wonwoo isn’t aware. He doesn’t even know where they are at this point. It’s his first time taking a public bus in his life. He either rides the train or he drives with his parents whenever he travels to or from Seoul.

“I could just get on another bus tomorrow. I just need a place to sleep tonight.” Wonwoo says.

The guy doesn’t say anything and continues driving down the dark highway. Wonwoo assumes he gets it, agrees with him. Who would want an awkward conversation with a stranger and allow them to ride with you for more than five minutes? Wonwoo wouldn't put himself in this kind of situation if he had a choice. Small talks ain't one of the things he knows how to do seamlessly. He's even worse at talking, bad at interacting with people in general. And it shows with the way his fingers are fidgeting on top of his backpack on his lap. He couldn't wait for this ride to be over.

"Are you okay?" The guy finally speaks.

"Yeah." Wonwoo nods, tilting his head to the left for the other to have a glance of his face but not enough to meet his eyes. "I'm fine."

"You seem uncomfortable. Is it hot? Do you want me to lower the AC?"

"No, it's fine," Wonwoo says. The air-conditioning in the car is fine. He's not hot. He's not cold. It's the right temperature for him. He's just really uneasy around people he doesn't know. "I just really wanna sleep."

"Take a nap first."

"But they said the nearest motel is near."

"This one?" They stop and the guy points at the very old three-story building right by the highway on their left.

There are about three cars parked outside, shady green lights illuminating the entrance to welcome the guests. The sign says "Midnight Motel". It looks like a whole building of massage parlors that offer extra service to its customers. Wonwoo thinks it should be fine to stay there for a few hours if you're not really picky and you could sleep on beds that have sheets you're not really sure were changed.

Wonwoo's skin crawls at the idea of lying on a bed soaked with other people's body fluids.

"You know what?" The other guy starts. "Let's find a better place for the night and then I'll drive you to Changwon tomorrow."

"Huh? Why?"

"I haven't been there."

"So?" Wonwoo is really trying not to sound rude but he just can't help himself when he doesn't understand what this dude is trying to do. With him.

"Roadtrip?"

"I don't do road trips with people I don't know. We just met 10 minutes ago."

His calm expression transforms into something like that of a kicked puppy. Wonwoo feels bad for being too straightforward but he also has to be cautious around strangers, especially those who offer to drive kilometers with him after meeting them a few minutes previously.

"I get it." He brings the engine back to life. He looks so dejected Wonwoo hates himself. "But we won't be staying here. I can't. It's too sketchy for me."

"Do you know another place?" 

"No, but we could drive further. I'm sure there are lots when we drive towards the main town."

"Alright." 

Wonwoo relaxes on the passenger seat as they drive back to the highway. If it’s even possible, they get more silent than before. Maybe it's because of Wonwoo's sharp words. Maybe the other guy is pissed. It's so awkward inside you could feel the palpable tension between them. Wonwoo keeps psyching himself that it's okay. It's not his fault. They don't know each other. It's fine. After this, they won't see each other again.

Wonwoo checks his wristwatch. It's midnight. The main town should be near now. He can't wait to sleep on a proper bed.

*

"We only have one room left."

Wonwoo curses inwardly, rolling his eyes as if the kind middle-aged lady behind the counter could do anything about the booked apartelle if he throws a tantrum at her.

This situation is getting more and more fucked up. Wonwoo is tired and sleepy and just wanted a minute away from this boy he’s with. A room for himself would be very helpful to his festering mental condition. But of course, this nice accommodation is packed with travelers who also seek refuge for the night. This is the last hotel. The only acceptable hotel that they could find in the small suburban town. The others are either fully-booked or unsatisfactory to Wonwoo’s standards.

Wonwoo lets the guy deal with it or else he would combust. “What kind of room is it?” He asks.

“Double room. Queen-sized bed.” She answers politely.

“Shower?” 

“Yes, it has a private bathroom.”

“We’re getting it.”

Wonwoo’s eyes bulge when he hears it. “What??”

“What?” The guy puts some bills on the counter while the lady types away on the computer to finalize their booking.

Wonwoo drags the guy away through the sleeves of his denim jacket. “I didn’t agree with this.” 

“What’s the matter? The room is enough for two.”

“It only has one bed.” Wonwoo hisses.

“Yeah. A bed that could fit two people.”

“We’re sharing a bed??”

“Sleep in the car if you have a problem with it. I’m going. I wanna sleep.”

The guy walks away, returning to the counter to retrieve their room key. Wonwoo grunts. He goes back hating his life but accepts that he has no other choice but to share the room with this tall stranger (which he only realized just a second ago when he was looking up at him while talking). Soonyoung will be thrilled when he finds out about this. Wonwoo sharing a bed with someone he doesn’t even know when he hates people getting on his own bed even if they have known him forever? Fucking fantastic.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” The guy informs him before he locks himself in the bathroom.

Wonwoo sits on what he assumes his side of the bed. The room isn’t that bad. Badly lit but it’s clean and it doesn’t smell like mold. There is a round table for if you want to dine and a small corner closet for your things. The bed is comfortable enough, clean enough, and big enough for two people to share. He is grateful for the hefty space because he could place a pillow between him and the tall guy.

Tall guy comes out of the bathroom dressed in plain black tee and sweatpants, a white towel draped around his neck that he uses to dry his damp chocolate hair.

Wonwoo stands up wordlessly and grabs his backpack. It’s his turn to clean himself and get rid of all the stress that had accumulated in the past six hours by having a cold shower. Although he isn’t fond of the cold, summer season isn’t exactly his favorite time of the year. If he could pick a month, he would choose April or October. Those two months have the perfect weather for him. Not too cold to freeze him but also not too warm to make his sweat drip on his shirt.

As he is already exhausted and fatigued, Wonwooo does not take long inside the bathroom. The cold shower takes the tension off his shoulders as well as the citrusy scent of the shampoo that’s provided. When he returns, the guy is sitting on the wooden chair in front of the TV. He is focused on flipping the channel with the remote, not looking up when Wonwoo walks across him. Minding his own business, Wonwoo sits on the bed and prepares to sleep. If the other wants to stay up and enjoy the amenities of their dainty room, then Wonwoo wouldn’t stop him as long as he could sleep undisturbed and comfortably.

He lies sideways, facing the small window. He was about to close his eyes when he hears a grumble. He lifts his head when he hears it again. Wonwoo is sure that it sounded like a stomach begging to be fed. 

“I’m sorry.” The guy says when Wonwoo sits up and looks at him.

“Are you hungry?”

“I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

Sighing, Wonwoo gets up, reaching for his bag under the bed, and takes out the food that the old lady gave him earlier.

“Here.” He crawls on the bed and hands a white plastic bag to the guy.

“What is this?”

“Food.” Wonwoo answers. “An old lady gave it to me. It’s not much but it’s enough to fill your stomach.”

The guy mumbles thanks and starts munching on the corn. On the other hand, Wonwoo goes back to his place to try sleeping again.

“My name is Mingyu.” Wonwoo guesses it’s really not yet time for him to sleep. He sits back up and faces the guy. The glow of the lamp is the only source of light in the room which makes the guy’s skin radiate a beautiful golden hue. Here goes Wonwoo again. He is staring. “I guess it’s just right to finally introduce ourselves to each other.”

“I guess so?” Wonwoo shrugs. So, he finally has a name to pair with that stupidly stunning human. Mingyu. “I’m Wonwoo.”

The gor- the guy, Mingyu smiles before he takes a big bite of the sweet corn. "Nice to meet you, Wonwoo."

"Nice to meet you, too." Wonwoo tries to smile back without looking sheepish. He knows how awkward he is around people, especially around people he doesn’t know exactly. He has avoided attending parties solely for this reason. Sometimes, his roommate would be successful in dragging him to flat parties but that would be really rare. Being an introvert and experiencing rejections (two to be exact) from girls he had courageously confessed to when he was in high school and bullying when he was a little boy because he is already wearing spectacles at a young age, Wonwoo has learned to just be with himself most of the time. 

“So, why are you going to Changwon?” Mingyu asks.

“Family reunion. I live there.”

“Cool,” Mingyu says, mouth still full of food.

“You? Where are you going?”

“Busan. My cousin lives there. He invited me to spend the rest of the summer there.” Mingyu chuckles as he looks at the wall behind Wonwoo. He is contemplating, eyes start becoming glassy. “I just got out of a relationship.”

Classic. People really drive far whenever they get their heartbroken? Wonwoo could not relate because he hasn’t fallen in love. He got rejected, yes, but it was just a simple crush. He would never spend his money to try to forget a girl who only wanted a tool as a boyfriend.

“What happened?” Wonwoo tries to sound interested. Perhaps he is.

“I guess I wasn’t really the boyfriend material they thought I was. I wasn’t sure about them either.” Mingyu answers. He beams at Wonwoo but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say. I haven’t been in a relationship.” Wonwoo declares.

“It’s fine.” Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind. He shares that it’s the first time he’s been with another boy. He was attracted to them, they were okay, but the other boy wanted more. They wanted to try new things, wanted Mingyu to go with him. Mingyu isn’t up for that yet. He still has studies to finish, his own dreams to pursue. “I am actually not that sad about it.”

“You don’t like him that much?”

“Thinking about it now? No. Maybe I was just excited about the thought of being with him.”

Wonwoo knows some people who are in a homosexual relationship. Soonyoung is openly gay and he respects his choices. He has met some of the people he has dated. Being in a university opened his eyes to these things. Inside the school grounds, it’s okay to open to talk about these things.

Sometimes, he thinks he is part of that small group. Sometimes he looks at a boy and finds them cute. He doesn’t understand what he feels most of the time because he thinks it’s not normal. Sometimes he catches himself being so aroused at the thought of kissing that boy from chemistry class. He only shakes it off when it’s getting too much for him. He likes girls in the past. It should stay like that.

Moreover, Wonwoo is part of a family that isn’t that welcoming with this kind of idea. He could never imagine telling his parents that he’s into boys.

Mingyu’s folks must be really amazing to accept him as he is and not judge him for who he loves. They are entering another millennium in a few months and Wonwoo wishes his parents, this world, would be a little understanding to him.

Mingyu senses Wonwoo’s uneasiness about the topic so he changes it to a lighter one. “Is it okay to ask how old are you?”

“I just turned twenty,” Wonwoo answers as he remembers his birthday party last month that Soonyoung had organized. It’s just a small gathering of some of his close classmates and club mates. Some of Soonyoung’s friends that he knows came, too. Their apartment was packed and loud and it was one of the few times in Wonwoo’s life that he felt genuinely happy.

Mingyu nods, cheeks full of food. “Same. Are you in college?”

“I am. Med school.”

“Wow!” Mingyu suddenly exclaims. He wipes his mouth using his thumb. It’s too sexy Wonwoo felt his cheeks burn. 

“Why?”

“You must be really smart and rich.”

Wonwoo doesn’t think he is smart at all. He hasn’t received any academic awards in school, except that one time in kindergarten when he got the “Most Behave” certificate at the end of the year. His older brother is an achiever, always on top of his class, always the president of the clubs he was part of, always excelling in sports. Wonwoo is the youngest in their family and is also considered the weakest. He gets by with passing marks every year, an average student. He didn’t even know how he passed the university entrance exams.

“My parents are rich. Not me.” Wonwoo says. “And I’m not smart.”

Mingyu tilts his head to right like a confused puppy. “You look smart to me.”

Wonwoo snickers. His glasses always deceives people. "I’m really not.”

“Smart people don’t really go around telling others they are actually smart. At the very least, they say they aren’t. Don’t deny it.”

Wonwoo leaves it at that. Mingyu won’t see his grades, anyway. He can believe whatever. “How about you? Are you in college?”

The taller bobs his head. “Yeah. Nothing prestigious like yours. I’m an Arts major.”

Arts. Wonwoo perks up. If there is one that’s more prestigious than med school, it’s the Arts school. He had always dreamed of going there. He wanted to wake up every morning anticipating every exciting class it could offer, he wanted to try sculpting as a minor degree and then he would major in Creative writing just like what he planned in high school. He wanted to express his mind through words and learn how to create something concrete with his hands. This Mingyu, he is living the life he wants.

“That’s amazing.” Wonwoo can’t help but blurt out with more enthusiasm than needed.

“You think so?” Mingyu puts down the corn cob on the table.

Wonwoo nods. He really believes so. 

“I’m taking the Photography track and minoring in Painting.” Mingyu continues. He opens one of the complimentary bottles of water and drinks from it, gargling the water in his mouth first before he swallows it all down.

“That’s really great,” Wonwoo says truthfully.

“I really like taking photos. I used to play with my dad’s camera when I was little and my mom would hang my overexposed photos in our living room together with her paintings.” Mingyu tells him. Wonwoo folds his legs to his chest and hugs it as he listens. “My composition sucks but she said she loved it.”

“Your parents are artists?”

“My dad is. He is a professional photographer. My mom runs a small family restaurant but she likes painting whenever she can.” 

“It runs in the family then.”

“You could say that.” Mingyu stands up to put his wastes in the designated trash bin near the bathroom. “How about you? What kind of doctor do you wanna be?”

He has thought of this. Of course, he has. Wonwoo had already known his fate ever since he was young. His eldest brother is a Neurosurgeon, the first in their family. Most of his relatives are either Internal Med doctors or OB-GYNs. His brilliant brother wants to be different so he took up one of the difficult paths in the field and aced it effortlessly. Wonwoo doesn’t think he could top it, has no plans to do so, but since he is already on this track, he decided that he would take something he would eventually enjoy doing in the long run.

“A pediatrician?” Wonwoo replies.

“Oh! Doctor of kids?”

“Yeah.” 

“That’s cute!” Mingyu flashes a big smile. He looks delighted with the thought. It’s adorable. “You like kids?”

“I think so?” Wonwoo scratches his nape.

Mingyu comes back sitting on the chair beside the foot of the bed. “You think so?”

“I have two nephews and a niece. I like them so much. If I could be patient around them, I could also be patient around other children. And children are cute. I can’t really be annoyed at them.”

“I think you would be a fantastic pediatrician.” Mingyu raises his arms and gives him two thumbs-up.

“How could you say that?”

A knock on their door cuts off their conversation. Mingyu is the one who answers it. When he comes back, he is carrying a fluff of white in his arms.

“My bed is here,” Mingyu says.

He moves the table and chairs to make space for his improvised bed on the floor. Wonwoo is dumbfounded. He thought they already had an arrangement that they would share the bed. He is ready to share the bed. 

"Where are you going?" Wonwoo can’t help but ask. If there is disappointment dripping from his voice, he isn’t aware of it. 

"On the floor. You can have the bed." Mingyu answers.

"But I thought we’re sharing."

"I am ﬁne here. Go to sleep now." 

Wonwoo reaches for the extra pillow that Mingyu is taking. He is not letting go of it until the latter drops it first. 

"Hey. Why?"

Wonwoo doesn’t know as well. He doesn’t know why the idea of Mingyu ending up on the floor stings his ego. Another rejection? Another instance of another person getting grossed at him?

"Don’t need to be that disgusted. I’m gonna be gone before you wake up." Wonwoo eventually gives up and lets go of the pillow. He lays down and covers his body with the blanket, his back facing the other.

He hears Mingyu sigh. “I’m not disgusted at you.” Wonwoo feels the bed dip.

“It’s okay.” It’s not.

“I just— I thought you’re not comfortable sharing the bed with me.” Mingyu’s voice is softer than usual. Wonwoo is waiting for him to get off but his weight still makes the bed uneven. 

“Good night, Mingyu,” Wonwoo says with finality.

Mingyu leaves him alone before he turns off all the lights. Wonwoo hears the ruffling of sheets on the floor. Mingyu must be settling in. However, to his surprise, he feels the bed sink one last time and feels Mingyu’s leg touching his. Wonwoo tries not to gasp so, instead, he freezes.

“Don’t ever leave without telling me,” Mingyu says.

Mingyu doesn’t move his leg beside him until he is snoring. Wonwoo remains in that position until he falls asleep.

**May 2014**

Wonwoo is on a roll today. Taking a month-long break from the hospital to finish this book once and for all, he usually just stays at home to write. He forces himself every single day to produce at least a page so that he could have something to show Jisoo if ever he checks up on him. This book was supposed to be published a year ago but things didn’t go according to plan as he underwent an intense lack of will to do anything. Even if he didn’t tell him, Jisoo was disappointed but was still nice to give him more time to prep, to condition his mind, to recollect all the memories from 15 years ago.

If his brother didn’t push him to do it, he would not touch the unfinished file on his computer. He had only written a grand total of 12 pages in the past year and the words aren’t even satisfying in his opinion. He had scrapped everything up and started writing from the beginning.

Wonwoo was getting in the groove after that and before he knew it, he had already written five chapters. Every day after his work at the hospital, he would write a bit before he goes to sleep. It went on for weeks until he had decided that he wanted to focus on the book while he was so into it. He didn’t want to lose the good streak he had so he filed a temporary leave from the hospital.

There are times when he would write in cafes, libraries or co-working spaces for a change of scenery. Today, he opted to stay in because he is too lazy to get up and take a shower. He is already on his laptop right after he wakes up, typing away the thoughts he has in his head before it slips away.

“How are you? Are you still on schedule? Fuck, why am I asking you this when I already know you are already a year behind?” Jisoo says over the phone, royally pissed at something. Wonwoo senses he is having a bad day again.

“I’m trying. I will give you the second draft at the end of the month as promised.” Wonwoo puts the phone on speaker so he could type and talk at the same time. 

“Thank God! Finally! I was about to ﬁre you because your publisher is fucking my ass and pressuring me to come up with a YA novel soon.” 

“I’m on it. Will get you that novel soon.” 

“Good. Now, fuck oﬀ. I am busy. And please, get a haircut before the final draft.” 

He hasn’t been taking care of his grooming ever since he holed himself up in his apartment. He already has to tie his hair up so it wouldn’t get on his face while writing, his facial hair also occupying his upper lip and chin.

“But—“ Before Wonwoo could ﬁnish his sentence, Jisoo hangs up. Typical 

*

“Maybe you should stop being a potato and get out there again.” Soonyoung scolds Wonwoo who is still lying on his couch at 10 in the morning in the middle of the week. 

Today is not a good day. Nothing comes up in his head. Nothing gives him the will to continue his darn book. It’s a normal phase. Wonwoo knows that. There are days when he feels nothing is going right, no words are good enough to be written.

Wonwoo understands that Soonyoung didn’t really mean what he had said. His best friend knows that dating isn’t high on his priority right now especially after being dumped by his long-term partner. Wonwoo wasn’t really hurt despite being with the guy for almost nine years. The relationship was meant to end. It was on and off, other people getting involved in between. Wonwoo didn’t expect it to last. They only stayed together because of familiarity and security. Love and passion have faded a long time ago. 

“Shut up,” Wonwoo growls. He shifts his position to face the backrest of his couch, turning his back on his friend. 

Soonyoung sighs as he picks up the scattered plastic cups, bags of empty chips, beer cans and bottles, dirty socks, and other Wonwoo’s garbage on his living room ﬂoor. If it wasn’t for Soonyoung, Wonwoo would be already living under a mountain of mess. He is an equally busy doctor himself, a heart surgeon, but he still looks after Wonwoo whenever he can. “How’s your novel? Jisoo is getting impatient and the last thing you want to do now is to push him over his limit.” 

Wonwoo stays lifeless in his position. He has already written a few chapters but he has stopped progressing when he couldn’t think of anything but to murder his own self for being useless. Jisoo has been patient with him, giving him time to recuperate and slack oﬀ. He says people go through that stage in their lives and that a few days of not doing anything is not that bad. Well, it _is_ bad for Wonwoo. He does not even want to stop doing nothing for two days now. 

Realizing that he can’t go back now and escape Jisoo’s wrath if he submits his draft late, Wonwoo finally gets up. His eyes are tired, dark circles decorating it. He picks up a rubber band on the ﬂoor to tie his hair back as he follows Soonyoung to the kitchen. His best friend is washing his dishes, at the same time, preparing brunch for him. 

“You do not have to do that,” Wonwoo tells him. His head is still a mess. He stands in front of his fridge, looking at his calendar that’s posted on it. May 28. Wednesday. He is supposed to ﬁnish Chapter 20. He laughs at himself because he isn’t even close to Chapter 15. 

“Oh, please. How many times did you tell me that? You don’t do chores anymore, Wonwoo.” Soonyoung says, rolling his eyes He could be mad and just leave Wonwoo alone but Wonwoo knows how much Soonyoung loves him and won’t let him waste away his precious life just like this. 

“I will really do it this time,” Wonwoo promises. His calendar also tells him that it has been six months since Junhui walked out the door after telling him they were over. Six months of trying hard to be a functional human being but failing because he was so used to being with him all these years. Maybe they didn’t love each other anymore towards the end of the relationship but Junhui’s the only guy who understood and loved him even in his worst state. Maybe he hasn’t moved on from him yet. Maybe he still misses him. Maybe the reason why Wonwoo can’t continue writing is the thought of Junhui lingering in his mind. He can’t write about finding love because he doesn't know what it means anymore.

Soonyoung puts down the plate he was scrubbing to look incredulously at Wonwoo, wanting to conﬁrm if his friend is joking or serious with what he is saying. “Are you just trying to kick me out to go back on your couch or you really meant what you said?” 

Wonwoo smiles. “I’m serious. I don’t want Jisoo to beat me up.” 

Soonyoung had heard Wonwoo said those words before, promising him he would write and get out of those ugly ass sweatpants of his but then he crawled back to his cocoon of misery when he leaves him alone. Hence, Wonwoo can’t blame Soonyoung if he isn’t putting 100% of his trust that Wonwoo would really do it. 

“I am taking a shower now,” Wonwoo assures him, showing Soonyoung he is on his way to the bathroom already. “I will go out today and try, okay?” 

“Yeah, you do that.” 

Wonwoo has decided to get a haircut that afternoon. Jisoo was right. He looked like a stoned rock star from the sixties. Maybe even worse. 

It’s getting dark outside when Wonwoo left the salon. People are on their way home, catching the bus or the train, students are loitering the streets, some working men in suits smoking in the sidewalk, couples having an argument where to have their dinner. 

Wonwoo is feeling a little light, enjoying the premature summer breeze hitting his newly-groomed face. He is not really paying attention to the road he was going to. He is busy observing and thinking about the fact that there are thousands of people in the city and yet he hasn’t found the right person for him.

He thought he had. When he was twenty, he met him but let go of him after spending only two days together. And then Junhui came. Wonwoo thought he was the one for him. Nine years later, he’s back wondering.

Writing this book makes Wonwoo want to go back in time, back in 1999 where he first discovered himself and had a full grasp of his identity. Meeting him, meeting Mingyu, was the highlight of his youth. He wonders what would have happened if they met again a few years after their first encounter. What if he asked his full name and his contact number? What if he wasn’t awkward and coward?

Wonwoo is walking senselessly down the street, deep in his thoughts, not minding the people that pass by him. 

“Goddamnit.” He curses when he sees that his bus stop is packed with commuters. He checks his watch and learns that it is six in the evening. He automatically decides to either walk or grab dinner somewhere first before he takes a cab home.

Frustrated, he turns around to go the other way when he gets pushed by an older man who is trying to get on the bus. As a result, he slightly bumps into an innocent man who is standing on the sidewalk near the crowd. His head hit the taller man’s ﬁrm chest who smells a combination of sweat, cologne, and coﬀee. Wonwoo utters an apology but doesn’t bother looking up to see the man’s face. He feels the man’s grip on his either shoulders to keep him from falling before he starts walking away. 

While inside the taxi on his way back to his apartment later that night, for an unknown reason, a piece of metal drops from his wallet when he is about to pay the driver. He picks it up from the leather seat before he alights the vehicle. He's stunned to see it. He didn’t even know that he still has it. 

It's the key. Wonwoo may have found his inspiration.

**August 1999**

The weather is really nice that afternoon, not too hot to walk at five in the afternoon in the middle of summer. Mingyu is enjoying the view of diﬀerent shops and is amazed at the cheap buys along the street. On the other hand, Wonwoo is contemplating why he has agreed to this. It's been almost 24 hours since he left Seoul and he is sure his parents are now going to call the police to look for him.

Partly, it's his fault because he had overslept. He woke up the following morning at ten. Mingyu has already packed his bags and was ready to check out when he came to his senses. 

"Why didn't you wake me up??" Wonwoo yelled as soon as he found out that it was almost noon. 

Mingyu only shrugged. "You were sleeping so soundly. I didn't wanna disturb you."

"But my bus!!!" Wonwoo throws a fit, showing his inner brat self.

"You'll catch another bus. Chill."

He didn't because Mingyu persuaded him to look around town after they ate lunch. A festival is happening this week so the whole town proper is decorated with colorful flaglets. It is also the reason why almost all hotels were booked. Apparently, the summer festival here is quite popular with other nearby towns.

Tonight, there will be a waterbomb event in the plaza according to one of the people Mingyu had the pleasure of talking to in the restaurant. They have invited them. Mingyu said yes. Wonwoo was too weak to say no.

Therefore, they are staying until the festival is over and Mingyu has promised to drive Wonwoo to Changwon in exchange for agreeing to do this with him.

"Let's make the most of this experience. You're never gonna be 20 again." Mingyu told him after his long speech about his parents and how everything wasn't in his plans.

Mingyu isn't wrong. Deep inside, Wonwoo admits he has a point so he goes with it.

While waiting for the actual event, Mingyu enters a vintage store where everything looks creepy, old, and dusty. The ﬁrst thing Wonwoo notices when they come in is the grand chandelier hanging in the middle of the main area, above the round oak table. Some of the items seem like they were taken from an abandoned house or dug from a treasure chest. Even the man looking after the store is old. In Wonwoo’s opinion, he should not be working anymore. 

In spite of the eerie atmosphere, Mingyu enjoys looking at the antique items on display. He goes to the shelf where the diﬀerent accessories are laid out, examining every piece with care. 

“You like these kinds of things?” Wonwoo asks, not really interested to know. He just wants to hear anything other than the spine-chilling old music playing inside the store. Mingyu hums in aﬃrmation. He is holding a gold-strapped necklace with a bronze padlock as a pendant. The pendant is a little tarnished because of age and being stocked for too long. 

“I like this one.” He raises it on Wonwoo’s face so he can see it. It is cute, albeit it’s poor condition. 

Wonwoo did not take Mingyu as a type that would wear such things. He seems more like a bling type of person with the black studs embellishing both of his ears. “Will you wear it?” Wonwoo asks instead. 

“Nope.” 

“Then do not buy it.” 

“Okay, I will buy it.” 

Wonwoo’s jaw drops. He does not comprehend how this man’s brain works. He is so hard to figure out. He says this but does that. He says he doesn't wanna share the bed but then ends up sleeping beside him. He says he wants to eat shrimp but orders pork instead so they could share it. Wonwoo will go crazy if he spends one more day with him.

Not lying about his last statement, Mingyu brings the necklace to the counter to pay for it. The necklace is not that cheap like what they have predicted. The man in the shop says it was taken from a wrecked ship somewhere in the Pacific Ocean (“Just like Titanic!” Mingyu exclaims) during the 19th century. It comes with a key, too. 

According to the myth (that Wonwoo thinks is so ridiculous), when you decide to wear the necklace, you should give the key to the person you truly love to make your bond forever. 

“Your heart is locked to that person and that person is the only one who can set your heart free.” The store owner explains. 

Wonwoo snorts, not one bit convinced in the story.

"Give me your hand," Mingyu tells him, palms up.

"Why?" 

"Just—" Mingyu grabs his wrist and forces him to open it. When he does, the taller places the key on his palm and closes it.

"What is this???" Wonwoo bellows. He doesn't wanna keep that key. He doesn't wanna keep his heart.

"Keep the key for me. Give it back when it's time."

Mingyu thanks the old man before he walks away and leaves Wonwoo perplexed in the store. He opens his palm again to look at the small piece of metal. 

"Don't ever lose it." The old man says to him. "You're destined to have it."

**December 2014**

"You should take a break," Jisoo tells him while both of them are hanging out in the hotel waiting room after the first fan sign event for that day. Wonwoo is scheduled to do two today, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. There are a hundred attendees per time slot. Wonwoo didn’t anticipate a lot of people would show up even though they technically gave away the passes in some of the book stores. It’s been a month since the release and Jisoo says Wonwoo is doing well for a newbie author. It helped that they kept on posting his face on their social media accounts to market the book. 

"I am not yet hungry." 

"Next batch will arrive in an hour. We can grab something ﬁrst while we wait. Do not push yourself too much." Jisoo frowns. 

Although he is not known to be very friendly towards strangers, Wonwoo is quite eager to entertain his readers. He is thankful that he is getting more good reviews than bad ones. He owes it to them that one of his dreams became a reality.

"I am just going to call Soonyoung." Wonwoo excuses himself for a minute. Before Wonwoo can even talk to Soonyoung to tell him that they should meet later for dinner, Jisoo taps his back and mouths that he has to introduce him to someone. He quickly says goodbye to his friend and promises to call him later.

Jisoo explains that it’s a friend of a friend that became a fan of his after reading his book. “Jeonghan is bugging me since last week to introduce him to you.” 

Wonwoo doesn’t mind. He likes meeting his readers and talking to them about the book, what they liked about it, what do they think about Minhee and Wonjin, or if they think Wonjin is a dumbass. 

Jisoo’s friend is waiting in the hallway that connects the waiting room and the function hall where the fan signing is held. From afar, Wonwoo can see that he is taller than him. He is wearing slim-fit pants and a black blazer. While waiting, the man is facing the other way while he talks on his phone, only his broad back visible to Wonwoo. Wonwoo couldn’t believe that someone a little bit older, not a teenager or someone in their twenties, would still be interested in reading his book.

As they walked closer, Wonwoo can clearly hear his voice, and surprisingly, he sounds familiar but Wonwoo can’t remember where or when he had heard it.

"Hey, man! How are you?" Jisoo greets, tapping his shoulder. The man immediately turns around upon sensing contact and Wonwoo almost swallows his tongue when he sees his face. 

"Hi, Wonwoo." He smiles, still the same bright smile from fifteen years ago. He still has the same crooked teeth that Wonwoo still finds adorable.

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo utters in awe. He still couldn’t believe that he is here standing in front of him after all those years. He never thought they would still see each other again, that Mingyu would really come and find him once he releases his book. Wonwoo thought it was just an empty promise. 

“Long time no see!”

“You guys know each other?” Jisoo butts in. 

“Yeah.” Mingyu answers but not looking at Jisoo. He fixes his gaze at Wonwoo. It’s nerve-wracking. “From a long time ago.”

**August 1999**

“I don’t wanna be a doctor,” Wonwoo says out of the blue. He is back in the passenger seat of Mingyu’s car as they continue driving south going to Changwon. The festival has just ended. After changing clothes, Mingyu keeps his promise and proceeds to take Wonwoo to his destination.

“Why?” Mingyu indulges him, he always does. Whenever Wonwoo opens his mouth, he always listens and engages him in a conversation. 

“Because it’s not what I want. It’s what my parents want.” He says. The sky is clear tonight. Millions of stars visible. It’s beautiful. Wonwoo doesn’t experience this a lot in the polluted city.

“What do you want?”

“I want to be like you,” Wonwoo admits. He looks down on his lap, embarrassed at how he is envious of the other. Mingyu is free, loves what he does, and has supportive parents. Wonwoo wishes he has the same fate.

“Like me? I’m not that cool, bro.”

“No, you are.” Wonwoo shakes his head. “I want to be able to do what I want.”

“Like?”

“I want to write.”

“Like a novel writer or..?”

“Yeah, like that. I want to tell stories. I want to express my mind through words.”

“Man, that’s deep.”

Wonwoo doesn’t think he’s deep. He just wants to be himself. But he can’t. He stays silent and thinks about his studies. He thinks about dropping out of med school to pursue creative writing. He thinks about how his parents would react when they find out, what kind of job he could do if they disown them. This trip opens up lots of scenarios for him, so many possibilities if he could just let himself go. He is so tempted to do all of it and don’t give a fuck about anyone. 

“But,” Mingyu continues, speaking carefully. “I think following your parents isn’t that bad. They still know best and they only want to look out for your future.”

“I’m really tired of them pushing me around.”

“If they don’t push you, you wouldn’t even be in a med school which is still awesome.” 

Mingyu carries on giving him a mini-lecture, telling him that he wouldn’t be this persevering and diligent if his parents didn’t put him in a good school. He still could write while studying to be a doctor and maybe he could publish his own book once he is done with school if he still wants to. He could always pursue his passion anytime in his life but finishing med school is something he should do now. 

Wonwoo’s rebelling thoughts get interrupted. “Why are you making sense?”

“That’s what they always say.” Mingyu winks and flashes a playful smile at him, proud of himself. Wonwoo should be used to it by now as Mingyu has a habit of making him panic through his gestures. 

Aside from being fun, Wonwoo thinks Mingyu is a genuinely good person. Maybe he is meant to meet Mingyu on this trip. Maybe he needed someone like him to make him realize that we can’t always do what we want, we can’t be given the things we always desire. Maybe we should accept that sometimes things don’t go our way because it isn’t for us right now. 

“Will you show me your photos next time?” Wonwoo asks. They are almost in Changwon. They just passed by a sign that says their exit is only two kilometers away.

“Will there be a next time?” Mingyu looks at him. 

“I don’t know.”

Mingyu laughs. ‘Why are you saying that when you’re not even sure?”

Wonwoo isn’t sure what the future holds for them. He’s not sure what will happen to them once he reaches his hometown. He doesn’t know if Mingyu will still remember him after this. The only thing he is certain of is he enjoyed Mingyu’s company.

“Do you—” Wonwoo pauses. He is scared. Less than two kilometers and he would be parting ways with Mingyu. He would go back to his sad life. No more bright smiles flashing his way, no more spontaneous walks, no more hands grabbing his arm while he walks, no more warm body constantly sticking beside him. Two days with him is just a short time but Wonwoo will miss Mingyu a lot. “Do you want to see me again in the future?”

There it goes again, that smile that makes Wonwoo weak in the knees. They are almost at the Changwon bus terminal where Wonwoo would take a taxi going home. Mingyu slows down. Wonwoo doesn’t want to think that he is buying more time to be with him. It's impossible.

“I promise when you publish your own book someday, I will personally get my copy signed by you, and then I can show you my photos,” Mingyu tells him when he pulls over.

“Promise?”

“I always keep my promises,” Mingyu assures Wonwoo.

Wonwoo takes out the antique key from his jacket pocket. “I’ll keep this.”

“You should! That’s expensive!”

Wonwoo giggles. He still thinks it’s ugly but Mingyu gave it to him. He wishes he could give something to him too. He gathers all his things before he opens the door. “Bye, Mingyu.”

“See you soon, Wonwoo.”

As Wonwoo watches Mingyu’s car fade in the distance, he realizes he left something with Mingyu, something he willingly gave him. The tall boy with bright smiles took his heart.

**December 2014**

After the fan signing event, the two of them end up in a cafe nearby. Mingyu waited for him to finish and told him that he wanted to catch up. He invited him to dinner but Wonwoo wasn’t in the mood for it. He opted for a coffee and something sweet to calm his senses.

“Fifteen years is a long time and I drove all the way here to see you.” Mingyu had reasoned.

Despite their age and mature appearance, Mingyu’s behavior stayed the same. He’s still jolly. He’s still warm. He still makes Wonwoo’s heart flutter.

While in the cafe, Wonwoo learns that Mingyu likes coffee just like him. He only likes his black while Wonwoo prefers milk in his. They share a slice of blueberry cheesecake that is mostly consumed by Mingyu as they drink their latte and Americano.

“Congratulations!” Mingyu exclaims. “I always knew you could do it!”

“Thanks.”

“So, should I call you Dr. Jeon now?”

Wonwoo sniffs. It’s funny how they still banter like they were still twenty-year-olds, like they weren’t apart for fifteen years. Mingyu still makes him feel so comfortable around him. He doesn’t feel thirty-five right now while he recalls the things that had happened after that summer in 1999. It feels like it all happened just yesterday.

“You could. It’s up to you.”

“I actually dreamed of calling you that. It’s just that it’s Dr. Wonwoo in my head because I never knew your last name.”

“I never knew yours, too,” Wonwoo says.

After a few months since they met, Wonwoo has searched a lot of Mingyu on the internet to try his luck. He had tried Park Mingyu, Choi Mingyu, Im Mingyu, Lee Mingyu, Nam Mingyu, Bae Mingyu, and so on. The internet was still not that developed during that time. Not a lot of people had access to it and there was limited information available for people who are looking for something. Nonetheless, Wonwoo had kept trying. Mingyu Photographer. Mingyu Tall. Mingyu Handsome. Because of his good looks, maybe he had fangirls on the internet who talks about him. It took Wonwoo three years to give up.

“It’s Kim.” Mingyu finally tells him. Why did he forget one of the most common surnames of their nation? “My whole name is Kim Mingyu.”

“Kim Mingyu,” Wonwoo repeats. It feels so good finally saying it and being sure about it. Park Mingyu never felt right to him.

“That’s me.” The taller smiles.

“How did you find out about the book?” Wonwoo asks. Curious. 

“Ahhh that.” Mingyu’s smiles widen. He sits up straight, eyes twinkling. He gives the impression that he is excited to share this story. “It’s not hard to find you.”

“What? Why?”

“I know your name all along.” He confesses.

“How?” Wonwoo lifts his brows.

“Your family is famous. Your brother married the mayor’s daughter. It’s not really rocket science.”

“So, you knew all this time?”

Mingyu tells him that he had stayed in Changwon for another day after dropping him off. He had never been in that area so he decided to check it out before he continues driving down to Busan. While going around, he had met some people. He was still curious about Wonwoo. He couldn’t just let him pass by his life like that. Since he had mentioned that his brother was connected to the mayor, he went on and asked people about him. That’s where he learned about the Jeon family.

“I found you in Cyworld. And then eventually Instagram, and Twitter when your publisher announced that you were releasing a book.”

Wonwoo is astounded. Mingyu knows his whereabouts for fifteen years while he thought Mingyu was just a dream during his younger years. He can’t believe that someone would still be interested in him even if they weren’t talking anymore. 

“And then there’s Jeonghan,” Mingyu adds.

“You know Jeonghan?” This is insane. The world is really small. Jeonghan is Jisoo’s partner. Wonwoo is quite fond of him more than he wants to admit.

“Yes. I’m good friends with him.” The taller takes a sip of his Americano. “I saw a photo of you together on his Instagram and that’s when I knew I will see you again in no time.” 

Wonwoo thinks about the people he had met and things that he had done. Jisoo, Jeonghan, breaking up with Junhui, writing his book. All of them lead to meeting Mingyu again. 

It’s too soon to assume Mingyu’s intentions. Wonwoo doesn’t wanna jump to conclusions but he feels so good knowing all of these circumstances. He is not afraid to let a few of his emotions out anymore. He would allow Mingyu to brush his fingers on his skin. He wants to let Mingyu know it is okay to touch him as he used to when they were younger. 

Hence, Mingyu takes his hand to hold. He doesn’t say anything. They just hold hands for a minute until Mingyu asks about his life. How’s his life as a doctor now. Mingyu is still enthusiastic about hearing his stories even if they aren’t that exciting at all.

After they talk about some of Wonwoo’s patients that he is fond of, the conversation shifts to Mingyu’s life. Wonwoo wants to know more about him. He only knows him as Kim Mingyu, the photography major who went on a road trip to Busan because he just got his heartbroken. He doesn’t know what happened to him after.

“I have my own studio now.” Mingyu proudly informs him.

He graduated with honors. He worked abroad for two years before coming back to teach and enter the corporate world. He used to be a creative director for an advertising agency where he met Jeonghan and Jisoo. Three years ago, he decided to put up his own studio and manage it with a friend.

“I still teach. I guess that’s part of my calling.” Mingyu says. “I also got married.”

Wonwoo’s heart leaps from his chest. “You’re married?” His eyes zoomed in Mingyu’s fingers. No ring. 

“Yeah. But we got divorced shortly after.”

Wonwoo’s heart goes back to where it is properly placed in his rib cage. 

“I tried, you know? I think I really loved her but it never felt right for the three years that we’re together as a couple. I still find myself looking for something. I didn’t know what. She’s great but it always felt like something is missing.” Mingyu explains. Even if he was into men initially, he wanted to have a family. His ex-wife was the first woman he’s been with.

Wonwoo thought he was the only one who felt that way with Junhui. Nine years together but he never felt searing emotions. He never felt complete with him. Junhui offered so much. He was an amazing boyfriend, he was supportive, he was really patient and kind towards Wonwoo, he truly loved him. Wonwoo had felt that. Junhui never failed to show him how much he meant to him. 

“Junhui and I went through the same,” Wonwoo tells him. “We never fixed it because we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. We were okay in the beginning until it became toxic towards the end so we decided to just end it.”

“I really thought you would settle down with him.” 

Weird thing is, Wonwoo never saw himself getting married to Junhui or growing old with him. After the breakup, he realized he only stayed with him because he was convenient. He’s so used to being with him so it became second nature to him to have him around. Wonwoo feels sick in the stomach whenever he thinks about it. He was so awful to Junhui.

When the cafe staff informed them that they are about to close, the two of them calls it a night. Mingyu insists to take Wonwoo home even if it is out of the way from his hotel. He is based in Busan now. He fell in love with the city after his trip and promised to settle there once he has enough money.

“You really keep your promises, huh?” Wonwoo jokes.

Mingyu tells him that he had changed but in a good way. He is still awkward but he is more responsive now. He felt wanted, little butterﬂies continue to ﬂutter in his stomach whenever he catches Mingyu staring at him as they walk to his car. They both want to touch each other more but they are waiting for the other to make the ﬁrst move. Mingyu is hesitating, thinking if it was okay to grab Wonwoo's hand in their ﬁrst (technically second but they don’t consider their summer encounter as the first) time going out.

Wonwoo lets Mingyu drive for old times’ sake. He allows him to hold his hand while Mingyu's other hand steers the wheel. Wonwoo instinctively leans his body closer to him so he could feel the warmth he is emitting. Selfishly, he wishes his apartment is a hundred blocks away so that he could be with Mingyu longer. It would look funny to some if they see two grown men act like teenagers who are new to dating. Wonwoo doesn't even feel thirty-five right now. The thrill he feels inside him because of Mingyu takes him back to his younger years, specifically to the time when he first Mingyu. Mingyu always makes him feel and young and light. 

Back in 1999, Wonwoo liked how their shoulders brushed and how every now and then Mingyu would hold his arm when they were crossing the street. The taller always made sure to keep him safe in the streets. Wonwoo had melted then. He is still melting until now.

“This is me,” Wonwoo says once they are parked and is already in front of the glass door of his apartment building. He smiles at Mingyu, not letting go of his hand yet.

“It's nice seeing you again,” Mingyu replies, grinning back at him.

“Me too. Thank you for always finding me." From that night in the dark highway up until now, it's Mingyu who always seems to show Wonwoo the way. For fifteen years, Wonwoo felt so lost. Not anymore now that Mingyu's here.

"The key to my heart is with you, remember?"

"You still believe in that?" Wonwoo hollers.

Mingyu takes out something in his jacket pocket. It's the antique necklace, the padlock pendant that Wonwoo's key would open. "I kept it."

Wonwoo pulls out the necklace he is wearing underneath his shirt and shows the pendant to Mingyu. It's the key. He wears it that way so he wouldn't lose it. "This superstition sucks. I'm giving this back to you."

"I don't want it."

"Why?"

"It's yours."

"Why?"

"My heart is yours."

Wonwoo stops to look at Mingyu, heart beating fast inside his chest. His heart. It’s always been with Mingyu. Wonwoo left it with him that night he drove him to Changwon. Mingyu made him realize who he is, made him accept himself. He never wanted to like boys but he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain tanned-skin one and dreaming the day they would meet again for years. It’s Mingyu all along.

Everything goes fast. Wonwoo can't remember how it happens. He gets disconcerted when Mingyu begins bending down, their faces a few inches away from each other. He forgets how to breathe when he feels a pair of lips lands on his. All he could do is close his eyes and let the feeling succumb his whole body completely. Mingyu wraps his arms around his middle as he starts moving his lips against him, softly and carefully. Mingyu doesn’t give Wonwoo a chance to respond to the kiss because he is already pulling away when Wonwoo got his wits back.

Wonwoo is still holding on to Mingyu’s body, still fully stunned at the sudden kiss. He is flushed from his cheeks down to his neck. Mingyu only giggles when he sees how red he is. Wonwoo allows him to pinch his cheek, telling him that he is too cute for Mingyu to resist.

“What was that?” Wonwoo pouts, the embarrassment still apparent in his expression.

Mingyu scratches the back of his head again, a habit of him when he is feeling uncertain, shy, or confused. “Aren't dates supposed to end with a good night kiss?”

“Was this a date? We only had coffee!”

“Then.. It’s just an excuse to kiss you?”

Wonwoo swears if Mingyu keeps on being dumb, he would fall in love with him in no time.

He rolls his eyes, pushing Mingyu away from him before he says good night. This should be enough for now. They have already exchanged numbers. If they wanna meet again, it is easy to contact each other unlike in the 90s.

As if kissing Wonwoo without permission is not enough surprise, Mingyu follows Wonwoo and hops in the elevator before it closes. 

“What are you doing?” Wonwoo exclaims.

“Let’s sleep together.”

“What did you say?” Wonwoo yelps. Mingyu puts his arms on his shoulder as he beams down at him.

In just a few seconds, they are already on the 10th floor on their way to his unit. Wonwoo is internally screaming because there is a truckload of scenarios playing inside his head. He enters his combination slowly, fingers shaking.

“Like we did before.” Mingyu winks at the same time the door clicks open. Wonwoo is freaking out. He wants to start oﬀ right with Mingyu. He wants this, whatever it is he has with Mingyu, to work. He does not want sex to kill the developing attraction they have for each other. He is not sure if Mingyu is attracted to him the way he is so attracted to Mingyu but Wonwoo can feel that there is something there. He cannot let this be ruined. 

He does not move on his spot when the door behind him closes. Mingyu is already in the middle of the room, shoes oﬀ, and halfway removing his shirt. No, this is not happening. He needs to think fast. But his brain freezes when Mingyu starts coming closer to him and making him lose his shit more. The taller's bare arms snakes around his neck and Wonwoo is about to collapse yet again on his solid chest. Their faces are just inches away from each other. Too close and too dangerous. 

“Let's go to bed, shall we?” Mingyu whispers, warm breath hitting Wonwoo's face. 

There is nothing else Wonwoo can think of but to close his eyes. He shuts them so he will not see Mingyu's naked torso or his face almost crashing on him. This is so fucking fast. They just met again today. They can’t be doing this right away. “Mingyu...” 

“Yes?” 

“I don't wanna do this. I like you so much and I do not want us to start like this. I cannot ruin this for me or for you. I want us to properly date ﬁrst. Maybe after ﬁve-ten dates, we can talk about sex. This is too early and I don't even know if you like me too like really like me. I want us to know more about each other ﬁrst. Okay? So, we should just stop. I should stop talking. Please, Mingyu.” Wonwoo rambles while his eyes are closed. His mind is still in panic and it is already too late to take back what he had said. He wants to keep his eyes shut, to save himself from all the shame he has brought upon himself just now. A 35-year-old refuses to have sex? This shouldn’t make him nervous. He had done it so many times with different people. Why is he acting like he is a virgin?

But, this is Mingyu. The Mingyu he had waited and wanted all his life.

He expects Mingyu to be disgusted at him. However, Wonwoo only hears soft giggles from the photographer. He feels that his body is shaking against his, their foreheads together. When he ﬁnally opens his eyes, he gathers that Mingyu is still laughing at him. Wonwoo leans back a bit to take a clearer look at the taller. His cute fangs are there again, making Wonwoo’s guts do somersaults every time they make an appearance. It is crazy how those pointy teeth could make his internal organs re-align. 

“It took you this long to admit it.” Mingyu glances back at him, not letting his smile fade from his face. He is really nice to look at. Everything about him is so adorable. 

“What?” 

“I noticed how you stare at me before. It was creepy in the beginning but I found it so cute when you keep on blushing whenever I touch you or smile at you.” 

Wonwoo’s ears begin to feel hot. He must be red all over. He wants the ground to open up so he could jump in it to escape this situation but there is no backing out now. He is already here and Mingyu is here, telling – acting – that he likes him too. He is thankful that, in spite of the time and distance, he is still here. He made an effort to be here. 

“I like you,” Mingyu admits, biting his lower lip. “I waited for fifteen years to tell you. I waited long enough to realize that all I ever wanted was to be with you. It’s really you all along.” 

“I… uhh…” Wonwoo stutters. 

Mingyu creates a distance between them. He drops his arms from his shoulders and steps back a little bit to give Wonwoo room to breathe. He needs air in his brains to think properly, to actually make a more comprehensible response to Mingyu other than stuttering and blinking. 

“I am sorry,” Wonwoo says, cold sweat building on his forehead and neck. 

“Am I being rejected?” 

“No! No… I am just. I am sorry about being a coward. I am bad at confessing.” Wonwoo then looks up at Mingyu, meeting his eyes with his own. He tries to show him that he is serious and honest in the subsequent words he will say. “I like you very much, Mingyu. That is for sure. I really like— Damn, how many times did I say it?

Mingyu kisses his forehead to tell him it’s alright.“I thought I would never have a chance because you and Junhui were so good together. Nine years. How could I compete with that? I only had you for two days.”

Wonwoo shakes his head. How come such a beautiful person has insecurities? He cups Mingyu’s cheeks and gently rubs it. “Just you is enough.”

“I took this chance.” Mingyu continues. “Without any assurance that I would be able to meet you and tell you everything I feel. I just wanna be with you, Wonwoo. I don’t wanna wait another fifteen years pass without you.”

Wonwoo nods. He believes him. “I wanna be with you, too.”

In the next moment, Wonwoo’s breathing is starting to become irregular as Mingyu’s mouth is suddenly on his again. He is not pushing or forcing anything to him, just their lips pressed against each other. Mingyu starts moving gently, tilting his head on the side to meld their mouths together more accurately. Wonwoo’s eyes begin to slowly close as he responds to the kiss, guiding Mingyu’s hand back to his neck before he settles his on his waist. Mingyu stills tastes like the coffee he drank a few minutes ago, he smells like baby cologne and mint shampoo, and in spite of his hard muscles, he feels so soft and comfortable. Wonwoo can see them kissing like this in the following days. He cannot wait for it and perhaps a little bit too excited about the idea of doing more than just kissing with Mingyu. He likes his kisses so much that he unconsciously bites Mingyu’s lower lip. 

“Ow!” Mingyu yelps. 

“I am sorry!” 

“I did not know you are the type to bite.” Mingyu thumbs the swollen part of his lip. It is red and moist, looking more enticing and Wonwoo wants to dive in again and kiss it. 

“I do not usually but, you just—” Wonwoo stops himself before he can say more embarrassing words. 

“So what now? I confessed ﬁrst. I kissed you ﬁrst. What will you do now?” 

Wonwoo smiles bashfully, scratching the back of his head – a hint that he still cannot relax even if Mingyu is making it all easy for him. He has a lot of things to learn in the future, like how to lead a relationship instead of being led on. He wants to sail further and discover more about each other now that he has no more anchor to hold him back. Mingyu is his choice and he is almost certain that he will not regret this one. 

“Will you go out with me, Kim Mingyu?” 

“Most definitely yes, Dr. Jeon Wonwoo!” Mingyu exclaims a little bit overdramatically and launches himself to kiss him again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Perhaps scream at me here (?):
> 
> \- [twitter](https://twitter.com/minwonangst)  
> \- [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/minwonangst)


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